While there was probably some wisdom in there regarding keeping sibling rivalry at bay, when it comes to our journey as leaders, employers and human-managers, there are problems with this way of thinking.

Sometimes what needs to be said is not ‘Nice’, but it is necessary.

When tough conversations DO need to happen, I've got great news! The difference between communicating in a constructive or destructive manner may be as little as counting to 6.

According to Dr Daniel Goleman, it takes 6 seconds for the rational part of our brains to catch up after being put on the spot, allowing us to respond in a way that is productive rather than reactive. This helps us to lessen the ‘Amygdala Hijack Trap’, those moments when our first response may not give us the results we are really wanting.

In 6 seconds you may think of another way to rephrase your words.

In 6 seconds you may decide whether the conversation is even worth continuing.

In 6 seconds you may realise that your first response was the right one moving forward - but you have given some consideration to it.

Whether you (like Ross from friends) want to do it Mississippi-ly, the science is clear. A short break in the heat of the moment allows you to Be Kind to Your Mind and bring your best to the table.

Julia Grace is Co.OfWomen member since 2020

- Mental Health Speaker & Educator

President: Professional Speakers Assoc. NZ Educator of the Year Breakthrough Speaker of the Year Mental Health First Aid: Instructor Showreel:https://youtu.be/AV5DO71iEik Email: julia@juliagrace.co.nz Mob: +64 (0)274 206 550 Website: www.juliagrace.co.nz LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/mwlite/in/julia-grace-074687183