As professional women navigating the evolving realms of personal development and career, it is essential to be aware and empowered in all facets of our lives. We all aspire to achieve in many different ways, from controlling our own success to building relationships for success.
It is equally important to be in alignment with our life partner or the person you are in long term commitment, yet it is typical for many couples to not spend time getting to really know each other before they commit to the relationship. We don’t mean what their idea is of a great night out, or their favourite holiday destination. Instead how well do you know their beliefs, principles and goals? How well do they know yours? Do you both know each other’s perspectives on retirement and more crucially, whether our partners would take on the responsibility of your parents when they retire? These are all things you should know about each other, to navigate life as an aligned couple.
What is interesting is that most new relationships only have a five-year plan and this doesn’t typically change before marriage. In the future this can see a relationship become misaligned. What we do know is when you possess an in-depth understanding of each other’s goals, motivators and have alignment on the path you are taking together your personal and professional goals will thrive.
It is also important for you to know there are no right or wrong answers. To truly get to know your spouse or partner, each other’s objectives, beliefs and values and how you are connected, we have 60 questions you should ask each other. These questions are not to expose what is not working. They can actually deepen your trust and bond as well as the intimacy when you know how well you are aligned. You will also get to know more about each other’s communication style.
Below are the 60 questions that will help you both delve deeper into each other’s beliefs, values and those aspirations, to ensure long term compatibility.
- Which is most important for you: to be happy or to be successful?
- How do you think your friends see you?
- When was the last time you had to apologise? What was it for?
- How long does it take you to decide and make up your mind on something?
- What is the best quality you like in people?
- What about you do people find irritating?
- What is totally unpardonable for you?
- A saver or a spender: which best describes you?
- Would you rather go out with friends or stay indoors?
- What is the most important value you wouldn’t forsake?
- What is the most thoughtful thing someone did for you?
- What is the biggest event you have had to forgive someone for?
- Would you say religion is important to you?
- Would you rather be beautiful or brainy?
- What would you consider a perfect future for you?
- How open are you to feedback and criticism?
- How do you cope with people who disagree with you?
- Have you ever been involved in a physical altercation?
- What do you do to make me happy that you do not really like?
- How do you know you are loved and appreciated?
- What has been the most traumatic event in your life?
- How did you work through it?
- What are the biggest lessons that you learnt from it?
- Do you have any mental health problems?
- Are there any hereditary illnesses that run in your family?
- What is your credit report like?
- Would you take on the responsibility of taking care of your parents when they retire?
- Are you open to getting married and when do you want this to happen?
- Are you open to signing a prenup before marriage?
- In what ways do you expect marriage to change our relationship?
- Would you rather live in a small or big city?
- Are you open to relocating to another country?
- What do you do as a girlfriend/boyfriend that you wouldn’t do as a wife/husband?
- Do you want to have kids and when?
- How would you want to raise your kids?
- How do you feel about adopting a child?
- What do you regard as infidelity and how would you deal with it?
- How much do you want to maintain your individuality while cohabiting?
- Do you like to take control or have someone take control?
- What do you think we should do to make our relationship better?
- What is our top priority as a couple?
- How do you deal with stress?
- What do you fear most about marriage?
- Is it better to be loved, admired, or respected?
- What makes up your bucket list?
- What do you cherish most about your childhood?
- When was the last time you cried and why?
- How willing are you to do your own healing work?
- What is the most romantic thing you have done for someone?
- What did you fancy about your first crush?
- How do you describe me to your friends and family?
- When and how did you realise you were in love with me?
- Have you ever experienced heartbreak?
- What is the best date we have ever had?
- What easily turns you on?
- How did you feel the first time we kissed?
- What is your favourite sexual memory of us so far?
- What is your secret sexual fantasy?
- How often do you think we should be having sex?
- Is there a question that you feel we should have covered and it is not listed? That question is….?
To sum it all up, the point of asking any of the questions listed above is to listen really carefully and utilise the responses for decision-making regarding the next move to make in a relationship. Also, allow them to elaborate on the answers as much as possible.
Questions reference: Byeliner and Equal Exes